People come and people go
People come and people go. Personally, to me it is the hardest thing you can learn in life. Sometimes, they don’t have a say in whether or not they are going to leave and sometimes they do. Sometimes, they just leave. They leave you, your family, everyone they know. Then you get angry, you get so angry with them, with yourself, with others. You try to find someone to blame, but when you can’t you become lost. You start asking yourself questions. There are so many questions. The biggest one for me, “Was it my fault?”
The hardest thing to cope with is the answer to that question. You find it through thinking and questioning even more. You then begin to question everything around you, until you get the answer you don’t want. You find out that the person to blame is nobody. It isn’t your fault that someone is just there one day and the next they just disappear. When you find out the answer to the biggest question is no then you become even more lost. There’s always someone to blame,something to blame. At least, that’s what us humans like to believe. If we don’t have someone to blame then we go out of control. We become so confused, so lost, and we push away our loved ones, especially when we need them most.
You get angry, really angry. You feel the need to find someone to blame. You start look at the people around you and notice they have what you don’t. You become angry with them too. Complete strangers can make you angry. You start to hate everyone, envying what they have. It’s painful, kind of throws you down even more. You get over that though, you realize that you won’t get it back. So, you just let it go. There is nobody to blame, but you end up distancing yourself from others.
If you haven’t caught on, I’m not talking about a friend who you get into an argument with and never talk to again. I am talking about unexpected death. The thing that everyone fears, even if they don’t realize it. It is so sudden and very surprising. In my life, and many others’ lives, people have passed away. My mother is the person who I am referring to as I am writing this.